Bryce Canyon! ...and tunnels

Coffeehouse Chronicles - We’re in Bryce Canyon!

Wassup Chroniclers?! Day two was a travel day. We have the whole crew together now; James & Glenda arrived last night. SEVEN RVs, all in a line, headed north up I-15. It’s quite an impressive sight.

Prior to departure, we had to have the crew's Science Officer and the Professor make a last

minute inspection of the Hall's RV, just to make sure she was flightworthy.

The New Guy took charge today. “I’m gonna take you guys through Zion,” he trumpeted, beating his chest. “You haven’t seen anything yet!”

Thirty seconds later, we’re at a full stop.

“Sorry,” the New Guy comes back over the radio with much less volume and little less bass in his voice. Apparently, Mrs. New Guy reminded him that he’s rollin’ with the big dogs and that with our motorhome length and tow vehicles, we would probably be unable to fit through the tunnels.

That didn’t stop him, though; New Guy was determined to lead the troops. He was the perfect tour guide; he pointed out the scenic spots he thought needed to be documented photographically. “Now get yer cameras up, people! Rocks over here on the left.” “If you were to get off here, turn left, and drive down about seven miles until you come to an unmarked fence, you can go in and rent some UTVs for half day. It only costs seventeen hundred dollars.”

“?!?!?!”

The HB looked at me, “What did he say?”

Have I mentioned that the New Guy has more money than Bill Gates? Maybe he should use some of that chedda’ to buy some glasses. We watch him squint his way through directions for 27 minutes. It’s painful to watch.

I’m unsure if we’ll put the New Guy out front anymore. He’s like one of those Disneyland automatons or the Energizer Bunny. We had been driving for hours when the Doctor begged him for a bathroom break, and I mentioned that I could use a sandwich. Ten minutes after we pulled off into the rest area, the New Guy stood out in front of the rigs, shaking his head back and forth, looking at his watch and tapping his foot.

Why is it that we all forget how tall our rigs are when we approach a tunnel clearance sign? The radio traffic became frenzied when we passed a sign that said “TUNNEL HT 14’ 6”. The entire group started to panic. That is the whole crew except the Professor and your hero. He & I came to the conclusion that we would know if it was safe enough for us to get through if coaches one thru five made it. It’s not so bad rolling in the Swamper position, is it, Professor?

I think that McCroc felt a little slighted that he wasn’t given top billing in yesterday’s Chronicles. He mentioned that I had changed his name, but there was no explanation. The story goes like this: I’ve mentioned in passing that a lot of planning went into getting this tiny little excursion off the drawing board and on the rails. During one of the flurry of texts, the Doctor misquoted an adage…by a bunch. Well, McCroc wouldn’t let him get away with a transgression of that magnitude and corrected him. Mrs. Doctor suggested that we should change his handle. He’ll always be McCroc to those of us who admire his footwear. Bee Tee Dubs: He’s still the reverse King Midas. He was over in his coach at lunchtime, trying to foul up his AC.

Glenda & James arrived and hit the ground running. Although they’re not too much older than we are, they’re still Ma & Pops. Well, we arrived at Bryce Canyon and were literally lined up, blocking the roadway while Ma was inside, making sure that we were all parked next to each other. She’s so cute. We’re right here, Ma, right across the way from you.

Hey Mr. Centurion! I see you lying there off in the cut. Don’t you worry, the smoke is gonna come soon enough!

One band, one sound. Drink ‘em if you got ‘em!

#coffeehousechronicles