Coffee Chronicles …It’s your Birthday!
- Marc & Bridget Saunders
- Jun 30, 2024
- 3 min read
Happy Sunday, Chroniclers!
Whatcha got in yer cup?
Yesterday was a pretty big day. It was the day we celebrated the birthday of the Right Rev Dr. Now, if you know the Right Rev, he’s a humble man. On the verge of bashful, I might lean. Let me begin with: we have a text group up here. In this texting group, there are eighteen people. If you’ve ever been in a text group, you know that there can be times when the texts just fly fast and furious. Everyone wants to be a smarty pants. Everyone has a one-liner. Everyone wants to answer. You also know that there may be times when you can’t answer them because you’re busy, you’re driving, or maybe they don’t concern you/or you’re just overwhelmed by the sheer amount of minutia.
This morning, I’m not quite sure what the Right Rev had on his mind. I mean he had to expect a huge number of birthday greetings, but after the tenth or so, the First Lady starts to feel a certain way. “Why isn’t my man acknowledging all the love he’s getting this morning,” she wondered.
“Look, Baby, all these people are sending you texts, and you're not answering them. That's just not right. “ She told him.
“I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't seen any texts.”
“Baby, our phones have been blowing up all morning with birthday love for you from the crew. It's all in the texting group.“
The Right Rev smiled at his wife wryly. “Oh, that. I fixed that. I put all that noise on mute. Here, check it out.“ He showed her his phone.
The Right Rev's phone was blank. All of his text messages were nonexistent. The Right Rev was beaming with pride. “See, I fixed it.” He looked at the First Lady and slowly realized that her facial expression did not match his.
“What did you do to your iPhone?!” she demanded to know.
“I fixed it. See? No more ‘ding-ding,’” he replied.
“UGH!”
—
The Right Rev called Your Hero.
“Hey, Rev. Mornin’. You know you’re supposed to answer your texts, bro. Sup?”
“I know! They’re not coming through! What do I do?”
“What did you do? You must’ve done something.”
“Okay, look, I was trying to sleep in this morning, it’s my birthday, ya know, and I just knew the Mayor was gonna start the day with her daily barrage of ‘Let’s-get-out-and-walk’ texts.” He was almost in tears. “I tried to silence them, but I think I deleted the group, and now I am not getting any texts.”
“Wow. You can do that?” I asked.
“Yes, but don’t tell anyone.”
An evil grin crossed my lips. “Oh, don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.”
We set out to fix what he had broken. I thought about calling, McCroc. His dad is a TV repairman — oh, wait, no, he’s not. That was just what he told McRib to get him to stop crying the other day.
Let’s see. We could call Yoko. She has an iPhone — oh wait, pro’lly not her; she's still working on her texting game.
We decided to call in an iPhone expert, my teenage granddaughter. Good call. She hacked into his phone, his Smart TV, and the mini bullet that he keeps on the RV’s kitchen counter and makes his protein shakes with. She had him fixed up lickity-split.
The Right Rev thanked her and then everyone else in a text. And all was right in the rollin’ chapel.
Happy birthday, Rev! Love you, man!
—
I feel the need to update an earlier Chronicles. Further information has crossed my desk. For years now, I have been referring to the Prof’s car as the Roller Skate. But It would seem that, for good reason, Doc and McCroc have been trying to get the ‘Clown Car’ moniker to stick instead.
A few days ago when the Prof bought (stole) his new camping chairs, they would not fit in the trunk because there was just not enough room for them and the Prof’s work shoes.
Again, you didn’t hear any of this from me because I’m not one to gossip.
You know what to do! Drink ‘em if you got ‘em!
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