Coffeehouse Chronicles …and Do They Make That Bike in Adult Sizes?

Hey y’all! Got’cher cup?

Yep, we’re still enjoying whine country. Yesterday, started with a four-mile, or so, bike ride. I say “or so” because our illustrious leader, the Right Reverend Doctor, took us out, then got lost on the route he had designed for us. There were circles, backtracking, and some tears. Yes, the Professor thought we would never get back, and he was heard to sniffle a little. He cheered up when he saw a food truck and decided that the group needed for him to get a quesadilla. 

Mrs. Scrubbles decided that she didn’t want to go with us. Her bike is built for the average-sized human being, and she complained that she has trouble reaching the pedals. Well, I’ll say it — someone has to — Mrs. Scrubbles is not tall. There. I said it. Mrs Scrubbles was very excited to see Two Raes ride up on her bike. She tugged at Cmdr. McCroc’s sleeve and pointed out that it looked like a grown person’s bike, but that any person her height, about the same height as the average American 3rd grader, could ride it without fear of ridicule! 

Full disclosure, a new kiddie bike for the HB may be in the cards, too. The HB only has about an inch or so height advantage over Mrs Scrubbles. Look, I’m not one to spread gossip, but they got picked 8th and 9th during the three-on-three basketball game the other day. 

Yesterday, at the beginning of the ride, there was a problem. The HB was following Cmdr. McCroc a little too close, and when he stopped, she tried to put her feet down. I’m gonna need you to imagine a duck paddling on a pond. She was still perched atop her seat, and her little feet were moving back and forth, furiously trying to find the ground, quite unsuccessfully. And then she fell over in slow motion, as everyone watching gasped. It was quite a sight. 

Riding bikes with twenty people, many of them in their own little world, oblivious to cars, pedestrians, and the rules of the road, is more than frustrating for a former motor copper. All he can imagine is carnage. It’s much akin to herding cats. Why in the world were the Future Mrs. Jones and Her Honor, Mrs. Mayor, riding their bike on the left side of the road as if we were in the English countryside? The Future Mrs. Jones complained that the right side was too bumpy for her. Ugh! Yer killing me! Mrs. Mayor had no idea. She was just riding, going over her victory speeches in her head. “Oh. Was I? I’m sorry. I was a little distracted.”

Someone, please, get me back to the resort.

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Dinner was a potluck. And it was DEE-LISH-OUS! I’m gonna warn you that everyone brought something that was “smack-your-mama” good. There were ribs, chicken (fried and baked), fried fish, black-eyed peas, greens, and more. Truly, I can’t remember because there were four tables full of crockpots and pans, filled to the top with good eats. Plus dessert! I made a beeline for my favorite, peach cobbler.

It was a good day.

You know what to do!  Drink ‘em if you got ‘em!

#coffeehousechronicles