Coffeehouse Chronicles …and Hey, Nice Hose

In preparation for the cornhole tournament

Hey Chroniclers! It’s Fri-yay!

We’re still in Paso, and the campout is in full swing. Our club campouts are four-night events, beginning on Wednesday, with people arriving and setting up their sites, and then gathering and moving from rig to rig, group to group, to catch up with old friends. Honestly, it feels more like family. We really miss one another when we’re apart, so much so that there are a few members who’ll add a day or two to the front end and another one to the back end, stretching a four-day trip into a whole week.

Yesterday, the Wagon Masters started the day off with a Cornhole tournament. Who knew that Mrs. Mayor was as competitive as she is? No one had seen her all day until she slunk out of her rig about a quarter to one. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and wandered over to where she saw that everyone was gathering. When she realized that Doc had joined the tournament, I saw her sidle up to him, grab him forcibly by the collar, and whisper raspilly in his ear, loud enough for me to hear, of course, “YOU BETTER COME HOME A WINNER, OR DON’T BOTHER COMING BACK TO MY RV.” 

Yikes. The Mayor’s tone and expression gave me the shivers.

I thought it was their RV, but apparently, she had taken sole possession of it at some point.

He came in a disappointing second place behind Mike & Mary. Curiously, I didn’t see Doc again until after the 49er-Rams game when he came by our rig looking for something to eat. The HB pitied him and shared one of our Snickers ice cream bars with him. Then he vanished again, off into the darkness. I hope he found a warm place to sleep.

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Cheif the amazing K9 and his handler, Jackie

I mentioned that Jackie and her BFF, Two Raes, were here, invited by Jackie’s brother, Tenille, right? But I failed to mention that Jackie is retired from a major Southern Californian law enforcement agency. I’m told that she was a K9 handler and that they allowed her to retire with her K9 partner, Chief. Chief was apparently too aggressive, and no other handler was able to partner with him. 

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The Meet-n-Greet was a smash. Members always like to boast about the club and share what we do. There were four or five new couples shaking hands and meeting people they hadn’t known, and they were interested to see that we all shared a common bond: RVing. Some are newbies, while others have been doing it for decades. 

Then it was time to get some vittles. Cmdr. McCroc, The Right Reverend Doctor, and Tenille all spent hours slaving over a hot grill to ensure that everyone got something to eat. They each took turns hazing their new intern, Mr. Obama of the West Coast Obamas. I’m told that when he couldn’t stand it any longer, he went back to his rig to lick his wounds. Those guys must be pretty intense. He made it off training and was a TO at one of the fastest stations in Region II. Way faster than those deputies floating around on a pirate ship.

Tenille and Cmdr McCroc wondering WTH their new trainee is

There were hot dogs, chicken dogs for some, and hot links. For those who were adventurous, there were HOT hot links, the super spicy version. Why anyone would vitimize their mouth, throat, and intestinal tract to one of those, I have no idea. And then there’s the carnage, later on that evening, or early the next morning, when there are tears as… is there a need for a graphic description? Really, people? No, thank you.

As tradition, we paid homage and thanks to the three founding members of the Cruisers, who still make it out to hang with us young folks, Papa Joe, Miss Betty, and Miss Liz. 

Last night’s game was “Name That Tune,” where old school favorites were previewed from Sade, Gladys Knight, Prince, and Grand Master Flash. It was hilarious! I have no doubt that the Hose Jockey cheated. 

Speaking of the Hose Jockey, do you know what he told me yesterday? He said, “WOW! That’s a great photo! That must be a really good camera.”

Are you kidding me? Do you think that when he and his buddies were sitting there, all satisfied with themselves, looking at the smoldering, steamy, soggy mess they just made, that anyone walked up to them and said, “Hey. Nice job on that fire you guys just put out. What kinda hose are ya using?”

What the heck?!

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Anyway, Day Two is coming up. More shenanigans to follow.

You know what to do!  Drink ‘em if ya got ‘em!

#coffeehousechronicles