Coffeehouse Chronicles... y Buenos Días Compañeros!

Cabo Pix!

Yo! ¿Qué tal, Cronistas? ¿Ya tienen su café? 

Whoops. My apologies, gang. The HB and I spent last week in Mexico, and I’m still translating Spanish to English in my head. Notice that I used the singular? Yeah, the HB’s Spanish is “no bueno.” Mine is laughable at best, too. Our waiters would smile and sometimes laugh out loud when I would tell them, in Spanish, the name of the US town we lived in.

I have since learned that we don’t live in the town, ‘Nalgas,’ it’s pronounced ‘Nogales’

HB, Jr. and her beau treated us to a week in Cabo San Lucas. All we had to do was fly down. The HB then spent the extra cash to get the “especial.” That's the all-you-can-eat, all-inclusive, lets-roll-like-a-big-baller package and lived it up like royalty. It’s just like being on a Disney Cruise without all the melon-headed costumed characters photobombing your selfies.

Whoa! The resort we stayed in was ENORMOUS! I’m sure someone, probably the high-pressure salesman who tried to dig deep into my wallet for a timeshare, said how big it was, but I can’t recall. There are three, maybe four, huge hotels on the property, and another one located about five or six miles away. Additionally, there is a Jack Nicklaus designed

golf course, with another one under construction, and several restaurants. All that and private residences, too. And I mean, like BIG residences; they're three, four, and five thousand square feet each, and each one with its own private pool, swim-up bar, spa, and a wading pool, just in case you want to bring the littlest vacationers with you. All of these places are for rent and come equipped with a maid, butler, and shuttle service. 

Oh, and EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. THEM. HAS. AN. UNOBSTRUCTED. OCEAN. VIEW. Yes, folks, that's every hotel room and every residence. 

Holy moly. 

While some of you Chroniclers may have experienced this, I am but a meager coffehouse owner. I run a modest little coffee shop and spend most of my days making lattes and pouring coffee for people and collecting used paper coffee cups from the pub tables. This is all new to me.

I found our respite very relaxing; I would wake up every morning and spend a couple of hours gazing out at the waves and the fishing boats speeding or floating by from our balcony, and end every night doing the same thing.

“What are you looking at?” The HB asked me quizzically.

“That,” I said, pointing at the seemingly endless horizon toward Australia or the Antarctic, quite possibly Hawaii, who knows. 

She walked back inside the air-conditioned room, leaving me in my 97% humidity, shaking her head. 

I guess she wasn't as impressed as I was. I was mesmerized.

— — 

HB Jr. bought her two little baristas. They spent most of their time in Mexico lounging by the pool.  Sometimes, the private pool; other times, when they felt like being among the commoners, they would have their butler reserve lounge chairs for them at one of the resort's numerous pools that were shared by regular hotel guests. Of course, they had to show the regular people that they had clout by calling over Luis, their butler, who was at their beck and call,  watching them like a hawk, waiting for them to beckon him with just a glance or a polite hand gesture signaling a want. There will be a major adjustment when they get home, I can assure you. I hope they didn’t get too used to their week in the lap of luxury. 

For those of you who have never been to Cabo and haven’t used your phone to find it on Google Maps yet, it’s at the very southern tip of Baja California, right where the Pacific Ocean and the Gulf of California meet. 

Speaking of which, I forgot to mention the private beach. Unfortunately, the waves in front of our hotel were about 12-footers and looked pretty ominous. The hotel staff decided they were too high for anyone to enter the water from our resort. But no worries; all we had to do was shuttle ourselves down to that other connected hotel 15 minutes away and voila! Beach!  Private, yes. But in order to get to the water, you had to wade through the local vendors who were hawking their wares. 

No, thank you. I don’t want my hair braided. No, thank you, I don't need a foot massage. No, thank you. I don't want a henna tattoo of a dolphin or flower on my stomach. And I most certainly don’t need a headband emblazoned with rainbow lettering declaring that I am “single and ready to mingle.”  That, by the way, was pretty much the tamest representation of his headband collection that I could put here in the PG-rated Chronicles. 

Whoo wheee! I remember being young once, too, but yikes, I can’t believe that anyone would wear some of the slogans that I saw! (I must be a prude)

Anywho, I spent most of the week trying to get the attention of my grandchildren, who spent most of their week at a pool or looking down at their handheld computers, giggling at TikTok. Aren't they cute? 

By the by; do you know how hard it is to get a Pepsi in Cabo? It's so difficult that it's rumored Tom Cruise was down there filming Mission Impossible:P - The Crucible of the Pepsi Can. It's been a week, and I'm kinda jonesing. My future son-in-law was excited to introduce me to the healthy stuff he drinks. I'm hesitant to admit that my spinach, celery and green apple smoothie didn't taste all that bad. 

If you know me, you know that green is NOT my favorite color, especially when it's on my plate trying to disguise a vegetable or on the table in anything that I'm drinking. 

Speaking of the future son-in-law, the jury is still out on him, but he’s growing on me. He's in the “business,” so I'm learning about scale, actors, unions, and stuff. One of his friends is a pretty big deal and has a show coming out soon, the HB & I will be able to tell everyone, “WE KNOW HER!” He’s given us a peek into some of his friendships. They turned out to be some pretty okay people. I’ve already advised him that we get them in the divorce. I'm already consulting with my attorney to amend the prenup.

Oh, look, the grandkids want to talk. Their batteries must've died.

You know what to do! 

Drink ‘em if you got ‘em!

#coffeehousechroniclels

Cabo Pix!