Yellowstone Nat’l …Old Faithful Really Isn’t

Whaddup Chroniclers?

Pro’lly gonna be a quick one, because we're headedout to find bison. ...and it's early. You see, Mrs. Francois has this thing. It starts out just after dinnertime, when everyone is all relaxed and stuff.  She’s real sneaky. She waits until she sees that everyone is all smiling and defenseless and forgetful and stuff. We’ll be sitting around the table somewhere, leaning back, kinda fat, dumb and happy. Usually we will be sucking our teeth, maybe looking around on the ground for a small, sharp stick that looks just clean enough that we won't mind sticking it into our mouths. 

Then she’ll slide in a line real smooth like. “Hey…uh, whadaya wanna do tomorrow?” There will be some murmuring amongst the crowd about stuff that we heard about that would be cool to do in the area. There will be some laughter, some head nodding, a democratic process, a consensus and then — she'll POUNCE! 

“We should probably go at that kinda early.”  And she’ll say it kinda glancing around the room wryly as if it weren’t her idea at all. 

She’s gotta be a witch. I’ve been watching her the past few times and it goes like that every time. 

“Whatcha think, Boo?” She'll ask Mr. Francois, already nodding her head suggestively.

I’m not sure if he’s in on it too, or if she’s doing that weird Samatha Stevens thing, or what, but he goes right along with her.  He'll start to nod at the same cadence as she is bobbing her head, “Yeah, Boo. I think that’s a great idea. Early.”

The New Guy then pops off, “Yeah, I read somewhere that the best time to catch bison in their natural habitat is at dawn and dusk.”

Who does he think he's kidding? I know he just leafs through the pages looking for the pretty pictures. He hasn’t picked up a book since freshman orientation at Tuskegee, and I have news for him, that wasn’t a book, it was a pamphlet with a map to his dorm room.

Then Mrs Francois will say all benignly, “How about …say, five?” Kinda sing-songish, again trying to make it like it someone else suggested it. Just kinda throwing it out like it's a spaghetti noodle on the wall to see if it’ll stick. Looking around the room, nodding her head at the rest of us. Mr Francois is still nodding, then everyone else starts nodding. 

And then there is me. I’m the only one shaking my head furiously back and forth vehemently. Thinking. “Wait. What just happened? Did she say five AM? In the morning?” I glance around the room at all these blank-eyed zombies, who I thought I knew, just nodding and agreeing to a four AM wake up to see some dang hairy cows. 

So here I am at oh-dark hunnid in the morning, telling you the story, when my phone gives me a text alert. 

“ding.”

“Good morning!  The Francois's are opting for a day of rest!  Have fun y'all!” 

Oh no she didn’t!

Drink ‘em if you got ‘em

#coffeehousechronicles